Nick Turner loses a glove - and he'll never be the same

Today is a dark day, my friends. I lost a glove. It was the right one. I have no idea what has become of my little glovey. He's all alone in the world. He's probably lying in the street while car after car runs over him. There will be no family picking him up and giving him a nice home. His best days are surely behind him.

If I had lost both gloves there wouldn't be nearly as much of a problem. Those gloves are gone forever and I never have to think about them ever again. Sayanara, suckers! I'm gonna go buy some new gloves and never think about you ever again!

But, alas, I only lost one glove, which means the other glove is sitting here, in the corner, mocking me. But I can't get rid of it, because what if I found the other one. I'd have to go through this agony all over again and I just can't do that.

It's like if you're a horrible parent and your child runs away, you can't move, because what if he comes back and you're not there. Even if it's forty years later and that kid has most likely died of a heroin overdose. Because, be honest, we've all seen the stats, people. If isn't the aids that kills the runaways, it's the heroin.